The past that nothing else matters

Most of my days now are spent re watching movies, writing or lying aimlessly in bed with my little brother. For once I am content, but I’m confused. There are moments where I lose myself in my mind, when everything around me dissolves and I feel like a character in an unfinished story, sitting by idly until someone comes along and tells me where to go next. I feel unsettled, like if I don’t talk to someone soon, and fast, then I may or may not be shackled to my thoughts, which is one of the worst punishments ever. 

Does this happen to other people? I worry that if I tell someone how I feel, they will think there is something wrong with me. Maybe there is. (I hope not.) And I feel like voicing something makes it real, and I don’t want this to be real, especially if other people won’t know what I mean. I want them to know what I mean, to say, “Whoa, that happens to me, too!”

Is it possible to live in a memory? Is it possible to lose yourself there, just let yourself be so consumed by the past that nothing else matters, least of all the tattered shreds of the present? I think that is what has been happening to me. I am straddling the line between what has been and what is. It makes it hard to do what I have been trying to do for what feels like forever: move forward.